Happy Mama's Day

7 am- wake up to crying baby. Change diaper, feed, and let him play until brother wakes up around 8. Make toddler breakfast (which will probably end up on the ground or in his lap), change another diaper, try to find time to make breakfast for myself, end up feeding whatever I made for myself to toddler, say goodbye to husband who's off to work. Entertain toddler with whatever works for that day (some days it's bubbles and some days his toys work just fine). Make a bottle and put that baby down for a nap.

When you finally get the baby back to sleep, the toddler grabs your hand and begs you to come play with him. By now, you're hungry and it's time to eat, so you turn on some type of cartoon in hopes he'll be distracted for 5-10 minutes while you shove a cheese stick in your mouth. It's now about 11 and you haven't even looked in the mirror. Toddler starts to throw a tantrum right as the baby wakes up. Change more diapers, start to prepare food for lunch, which most of, again, will probably end up on the ground. Set the baby down with some toys and feed the toddler lunch. When he's finished you try to bribe him to take a nap- it usually doesn't take much convincing when he gets his binky. Baby starts to cry so you play with him until he's tired again. Feed him a bottle and put him down.
It's now almost 1 and you FINALLY have some time to yourself. There's a couple things you can do now. Clean, eat, get ready? But what do we usually do? Nothing. Lay down on the couch and literally do nothing. Not even sleep. Genius. 3 rolls around and we realize the kids are going to wake up soon and we've literally done nothing for 2 hours. We get up, wash our face and clean up the 10 toys laying around on the ground. Eat a quick lunch and right when we really start to feel motivated- BOOM- both kids magically wake up!

This is the time of the day where I might even put on pants and take the kids outside. By 6, it's time to take them inside and get ready for dinner. Dinner?! Why haven't I thought about this all day? I literally had all day. Okay, mac and cheese is easy, lets go with that. Change more diapers, feed more kids, play with them. Time for baths and jammies- let's throw in a couple meltdowns from the toddler because I made him get out of the water or simply because he's a toddler. Get the toddler in his bed, say prayers, and give kisses. Make the baby a bottle, and swaddle him to sleep. After about an hour, the baby falls asleep.

Its now 9 pm and you finally find energy to clean up the kitchen and living room and maybe put that laundry away.

It's not easy. Everyone knows it's not easy. It's the hardest job in the world because it never stops. The description above is just a typical day- and definitely different for everyone. It's rewarding in the most emotional way.

Happy mother's day.

Tyson's Birth Story

Life is crazy.

For the past couple weeks I've been adjusting to my new life. Going from one to two babies is not an easy transition, at least not physically and sometimes emotionally. However, my heart has just been exploding for the past couple weeks with love (cheesy, but extremely true).

I feel like my life has been completely turned upside down.

On Wednesday, September 23, I had a normal doctors appointment, I was 37 weeks along and I had been having a lot of pain in my upper abdomen for a couple weeks. My doctor couldn't really give me an answer and kind of just told me to suck it up. I even went in to labor and delivery on the previous Sunday (20th), and I didn't get any results there. So after all my frustration, I woke up Wednesday night (aka Thursday morning- like 2 am) like I always did to go to the bathroom, and when I went to lay back down I felt the pain come back, only this time it was a little bit lower and it was progressively getting worse. It got so incredibly overwhelming that I woke up Leka. It took me a total of 3 minutes to decide that a hospital trip was necessary, which alarmed Leka because no matter what kind of pain I was in previously, I always refused going to the hospital.

So apparently, I don't handle pain very well and I really only remember Leka grabbing me a robe and kind of awkwardly putting it on me and then me trying and miserably failing to walk to get to the car. He seriously considered calling an ambulance, but I decided we were way too dang close and I could do it. He ran around, forgetting: the hospital bag (that I finally packed that day before!), to turn any lights off, our first born son who was asleep (luckily my sister lives upstairs, so that wasn't a huge issue), and he even forgot to close the front door as we rushed out and I tried to get in the car. I couldn't find any relief. Any position I put my body into only made the pain worse. I pretty much yelled at Leka the entire car ride because he was either going too fast over the bumps and turns or he wasn't getting me there soon enough! Poor guy!

We went straight to the emergency room because I just wanted immediate help! The nurses ran out with a wheelchair and all I remember is making a huge scene in the ER. There were like 5 people there, but it was still pretty embarrassing, though at the time, I didn't care, not one bit. You could probably hear me from across town, I was so incredibly loud. I remember one old lady saying, "is she gonna have a baby?", and Leka responded with, "I'm not sure," and she says, "I think she's gonna have a baby." 

So they rushed me up to labor and delivery and had an entire room full of about 12 nurses ready to deliver me. They got me on the bed and the nurse went to check my cervix... "She's dilated to a one, everyone." 

If I wasn't in so much pain I would've been ticked. I think I assumed that that was going to happen. I was a one at my last two appointments and this didn't feel like labor to me. 

The nurses kept feeling my belly and telling me how hard it felt and they started an IV. It wasn't until I got the epidural that I felt some kind of relief. It took the edge off but I still felt major pain in my upper abdomen. Thankfully, my doctor came rushing in minutes later. I absolutely love my doctor and trust him 100%, so I knew my savior had been looking out for me.

Then came the bad news.

Since I wasn't dilating or making any progress, my doctor decided to perform an emergency C-Section when the baby's heart rate started to drop. In my head I was thinking "PLEASE, NO, I'LL DO ANYTHING!"- Surgeries freak me out and the thought of being cut open was not very appealing to me. But somehow, I kept my mouth shut and agreed and surprisingly stayed very calm despite my pain and uncomfortable state. The whole thing was miserable for about the next half hour. They wheeled my bed back, got me on a table and put up that cloth thing, separating my head from my body, and started spraying stuff on my belly. Really all I remember is constant shivering. It was freezing in that room, plus my body was releasing so much adrenaline from the pain and all the medication. Then I remember hearing my doctor say "making the incision now" and in my head feeling like I was gonna pass out. There was a tugging sensation in my abdomen as they cut and pulled him out. I heard the nurses say, "happy birthday, buddy!" and then they rushed him out of the room as another one said, "he's not breathing." They asked Leka if he wanted to go with baby, so he quickly kissed my forehead and rushed out of the room. The next 20 minutes were extremely hard. My body was in total shock and I was really uncomfortable lying on the table. So I closed my eyes and tried to focus on my breathing. I finally started to feel relaxed since I had woke up that morning at 2 and now it was almost 4:30. The doctors finished sewing me up and then a nurse brought me a body warmer. It was basically a big plastic bag that they blew warm air into. My teeth were chattering so hard. Then I saw Leka's face. It brought me so much comfort to have him there with me. Then they took me off the operating table and gave me a nice warm blanket. Everything got better from there.
Still no baby, but they took me back to my room where my parents were waiting for me. They offered me some nice medicine. I really don't remember what they gave me, but it was awesome and knocked me out for a couple hours. Apparently my mom took a video of me telling the story of what had happened, and not only was I shivering the whole time, I was so out of it. I really don't remember a thing.
When I woke up a couple hours later, they took me over to the NICU, where I got to see my baby for the first time. He was on the CPAP and I wasn't allowed to hold or even touch him, but it was definitely a moment that I needed. I was there for maybe 3 minutes and then they wheeled me down to my room. They told me I could come back later when I was a little more rested. The rest of that day was kind of a blur, I just remember how incredibly hard it was for me to move. My every nightmare about a C-Section had come true and I was just at the beginning of recovery. Everyone kept telling me that the fastest way to recover was to get up and move and I found that incredibly hard to believe! But after a couple hours, I really wanted to see my son and hold him!
The moment was surreal. He didn't really feel like my baby, but it was still a great moment. I don't think all the emotion had caught up to me yet.

To sum up the rest of the hospital stay, I was there for the next 3 days, so 4 days total. It was a big blur of trying to heal myself and see my baby as much as I could. By day 3, I was trying to stand and walk as much as I could.

The one thing I want to remember most about this whole crazy story, was how well Leka handled everything. I can't think of one person who I would've rather had by my side. He stayed calm and collected despite the lack of sleep and all of the pressure he was faced with. We cried a lot together in that hospital, but we also found reason to laugh and be happy, especially as Tyson grew stronger every day. I found myself expressing gratitude to and for him, pretty much the entire hospital stay. 
After I was discharged, I came back to the hospital every single day to attempt breastfeeding.

Tyson's only issues after he was off the CPAP was a lack of oxygen and he didn't have the natural reflex to suck, so they had to feed him through a tube. I did a really good job pumping so that I could keep up with him. I was so determined to breastfeed (SPOILER ALERT- I was successful ;)
After 8 days of what seemed like FOREVER, we got the car seat call! (basically just a call saying to bring in the car seat for inspection- in other words telling you your baby is ready to go home) I cried when I got that call. It doesn't matter how long your baby is in the NICU, it is a hard journey. 1 day or 1 month, it is emotionally draining.
We brought him home on the 9th day, after going to the morning session of general conference. It was such a great day, and one I will never forget.
Tyson Charles Palu

Born on September 24, 2015 at 3:41 am
Weight: 7lbs 6oz Height: 20 in
18 days early
He's our little fighter and we love him so so much. I can't believe how much my love grows for him every single day.
2 kids is tough, but so incredibly worth it! I love my family.

Baby Palu Update

So I haven't even written about this pregnancy once, and I'm 35 weeks today!
I've realized over the past couple weeks just how incredible pregnancy is and it makes me kind of sad that it's almost over. Don't get me wrong- wow I am ready to be done, but I want to remember all of these symptoms and feelings, because I have almost nothing from Ammon's pregnancy.

Here's what I can remember:

Back in January- forever ago, I know- I had suspicions of pregnancy because I had been feeling pretty sick. This pregnancy was and wasn't planned. We knew we wanted our first 2 fairly close together so we thought we might as well start trying when Ammon was a year old. Now, considering my situation, I had never done birth control before, and I'm already a fairly forgetful person, so taking a pill everyday seemed easy- but I had no idea the effects it would cause if I forgot once or twice. I was just so entirely bad at consistently taking the pill, and once I finally had someone explain it to me, I decided to take a break from it for a month to let my system re-regulate and then I could start doing it "right". 

So anyways, long story short, I took a test about 3 days before my expected cycle and sure enough, a very faded pink line showed up. I took some lipstick and wrote baby number 2 on my belly and then went and woke Leka up to show him. I planned on waiting to tell him, but I got entirely too excited.

His face was kind of in disbelief. He was excited, but honestly probably a little freaked out. 

Anyways, after all that excitement, we both decided we would wait to tell everyone. 

To be completely honest, Ammon's pregnancy was the hardest pregnancy to announce- especially to my family, for obvious reasons, so for some reason I had this huge fear of telling everyone, but mostly I was terrified of telling my mom. I have no idea why. I mean looking back I can see that it's my life, I'm happily married, and this was something that I wanted, so there was nothing to be ashamed of. It is rough to feel judgment, cause hey, I'm only 20. 2 kids at 20?  But what I've learned over the past 8 months is that age does not matter at all. It's all about what you're willing to take on in life and what you commit yourself to. And this was something I felt really right about.

So I had held in this secret for maybe a good month, but I slipped. On facebook, I commented on a Intermountain Mom's post to try to win diapers, and of course, not thinking anyone would see it, someone on my mom's side saw it and told everyone on that side. It was fine, but totally unfortunate for me, as I wasn't planning on announcing it until I was at least 15-20 weeks. I knew I needed to tell my mom and dad, but I kind of ruined that with the post as well.

In the end, I truly had nothing to be afraid of because in the end, my parents were excited for us and from then on it felt good to have everyone know. My mom was obviously concerned that I would be super stressed with having 2 under 2 because she knows how easily stressed I am. 

So after all the drama little mama- its been a good 6 months of just enjoying pregnancy symptoms. 

Oh the symptoms.

This pregnancy has been completely opposite from Ammon's. I had such an easy pregnancy the first time around. I didn't realize it until this pregnancy. Mostly the morning sickness. I have been sick for the past 8 months. The first 2 months were the hardest. I didn't want to do anything. I just sat around and watched TV all day with no motivation. There was about a month or two around 18 weeks where I got all my energy back and I just felt great, but then around 26 weeks, it was right back to the beginning. I throw up almost every morning, so truly it is morning sickness.

Does anyone else have a problem with the sciatic nerve? Oh em gee. This is probably my least favorite pregnancy symptom. I hate it. If you don't know what it is, I can't help you, cause I don't know either. I just know that at any given time of day, without warning, there will be a very sharp pain in the front of my hip that will make it impossible to walk or even stand. In fact, as I type this, I am sitting, and I feel it. 

Heartburn. Oh the heartburn. I have definitely experienced this before and with Ammon, I used pepcid. Pepcid was my best friend. Pepcid is just not strong enough this pregnancy. I have had so many sleepless nights because of heartburn. Thank the heavens my doctor let me take prilosec. 1 pill every morning, and NO HEARTBURN SINCE! It's literally a miracle.

Thank the heavens I haven't had any swelling, but wow I feel like I'm carrying a bowling ball around in my stomach. I am so freaking uncomfortable all the time. I cannot find a comfortable position to sleep in at night.

Besides just being uncomfortable, I get terrible sleep because I'm constantly waking up to go to the bathroom. This pregnancy came with the weakest bladder ever. I feel like I have to pee even if I just peed 10 minutes ago. It's ridiculous. 

All in all, pregnancy is great. I just can't get over my excitement to have 2 boys. 2 children that came from my body. I already feel so much love for this baby boy. AND NESTING IS REAL. I am so anxious. I feel like I need to get everything ready, like RIGHT NOW. And even though I have probably everything I need, (aside from diapers) I still feel so unprepared. 

All in all, at 35 weeks pregnant, (today!) time is running out and I am going to document the last 5 weeks, to the best of my ability. 

Alright here's my best news:

I love my husband now more than ever- 

We got our temple recommends yesterday and we are taking our endowments out this Saturday, the 12th of September. We are more than stoked and happier than we have ever been in our marriage. I cannot wait to be sealed to my family for time and all eternity. There is seriously nothing better. We are trying to be sealed before this little baby comes and makes our life even more hectic. So I'll definitely be writing about that as well.

ammon's birth story

There are some moments in life that you never want to end. For me, it was moments like the day I was baptized and just for a couple hours, I was perfect. Or when I was 17 and got my first kiss under the fireworks. Or maybe the time I said, "I do" and agreed to marry the most handsome, loving man in the world, then finding out a few months later that we'd be welcoming a sweet little boy into the world. Those were some of the best moments of my life so far. I never could've known how great all of those moments were at the time, but looking back I realize I have been the luckiest girl in the world.

It was July 14, and I went in to my doctors appointment. I was due in exactly a week on the 21, but obviously I would rather deliver early than late. The doctor stripped my membrane and after that I felt a little wet. Since he found that strange he told me to take a test home to see if my water was leaking. I took the test and it immediately changed color to a greenish blue which freaked me out and made me really excited at the same time! I was SO done with this pregnancy! But when I looked at the instructions, it told me the color had to remain blue for 30 minutes for the test to be positive and after about 10 minutes, the color faded back to yellow. I was scheduled for another doctors appointment 2 days later, so I brushed it off and waited a little longer.

For the next 2 days, Leka was super insistent to take me on long walks and on Tuesday night before the appointment, we went and jumped on a trampoline, hoping to get things moving along!

That night, Leka could not sleep! He kept waking up to make sure I was okay and he kept telling me that he strongly felt he should go with me to the appointment and not go to work. So at about 5 am, I gave in and told him to tell his boss that he'd come to work right after the appointment. At 9:15, we headed up to the doctor and got great news! I was dilated to a 3 and was about 70% effaced! I was about a 10 on the Bishops scale. For all who don't understand, you have to have at least a 10 to be admitted to the hospital, and since the first words Leka said to the doctor that morning were, "We want to have this baby today," it was really good news! I wasn't feeling any contractions, I was feeling some cramping though. Honestly the doctor probably wouldn't have sent me to the hospital that morning, but he did since I told him about the test changing colors, even for only a couple minutes and I tested positive for strep B and needed to be monitored.

So here we were walking out of the doctors office, SO EXCITED. We got in the car and all of a sudden we found ourselves calling EVERYONE. We called my parents, both sets of Leka's parents, my sister, and basically all our closest friends.

We ended up going home for about an hour before heading to the hospital (which is about 4 blocks north of our house) to clean up the house and get some things that weren't in our hospital bag... then we realized Leka could come back to get anything at anytime and I decided it was time to go!

We got to the hospital and there were NO parking spots! We just parked in the labor and delivery emergency spot and I told Leka to move to another spot later. When we went inside we really weren't sure where we were supposed to go, so we walked around a little and after asking about 3 different desks, a lady finally said, "if you're having a baby, go to the 5th floor," so we ran over to the elevator!

There were 3 women on the elevator, going to visit someone I guessed, and they all kind of stared at me with excitement, haha it was slightly awkward, but nonetheless, very exciting!

We had to wait for a little before checking in which just made us that much more antsy, but before we knew it we were walking back to our room and I was changed into a lovely hospital robe and laid down on the bed. I kind of just laid there for a while and soaked it all in. I still wasn't experiencing contractions and felt great, so I enjoyed that time. A nurse came in and got all my past medical information and then checked me. She gave me the same results as my doctor and then left to clear with my doctor to start me on some pitocin. A while later another nurse came back and told me the best news ever! I wouldn't be leaving the hospital without a baby and I would no longer be pregnant. Oh it was music to my ears.

Then came the worst part. The IV.

I don't do needles, and for some reason the worst place for a needle is the forearm in my opinion. I didn't watch, but luckily there was only one needle. Leka tried distracting me and luckily I got through it without even getting light headed!

The pitocin started and I immediately started to feel my belly tighten. They didn't hurt at all during the first round of doses. They start at a 4 and go up by four until they hit 20 and they increase every half hour. So for about the first 30 minutes, I was doing great. When they increased my dosage, that's when I started to feel the edge on them.

Finally they got to a point where I couldn't stand them. I'm not a wimp, and I had planned on the epidural from the beginning, but I wanted to wait as long as possible to get it because like I said before, I am not good with needles! But when the pain was that bad, I was definitely welcoming that big needle into my spine. After that, it was a breeze!!

My mom, sister, and best friend (and of course the greatest husband) were all in the delivery room with me... along with my doctor, 2 nurses, a med student finishing up her residency, and 2 more nurses to do the cleanup. Now I arrived at the hospital at about 11 and dilated to only a 3, it had been about 5 hours and I only made it to a 4 when I suddenly felt a gush of water that I actually thought was me wetting the bed! Since I had a catheter in, the nurses didn't think that was so likely. My water broke!! It only took about an hour after that for me to jump to a 10 and I was ready to push!

Honestly this was the part that I had been dreading for 9 months. Not just because of the pain but honestly I was about to spread my legs open for everyone to see pretty much my most vital area.

Awkward.

At least I thought it would be.

The epidural did a FANTASTIC job at numbing my entire lower body and I honestly couldn't feel a thing, even while I was pushing which was just a quick 20 minutes total. They told me to push and after the first one everyone was like, "WOW!!" and I'm like, I can't feel a dang thing! What do you see!? I really didn't want the mirror, but when they asked, I didn't really say anything, so they put it there anyway.

When that little boy came out and was placed on my chest, I'll be completely honest, I was pretty much in shock. The moment was nothing like I expected it to be. I just looked at him at thought, "Is that mine?" He looked nothing like me. They took him over to get cleaned and everyone was congratulating me and honestly I can't remember exactly what happened... except I was allowed to eat!! And boy was I starved!!

After he was all clean, they gave him back to me to do skin to skin. That moment was a bit more precious for me because the shocking feeling was gone, and all I felt was pure love.

7 lbs 3 oz and 19 inches long

I look at him everyday to this day and still can't believe that this little miracle was made by me and my husband and that I carried him around. HE WAS INSIDE OF ME! It's so crazy, but it happens everyday!

I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. In reality, luck has nothing to do with it, but when I hold my little boy, I feel the greatest love that ever existed.